he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
