Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize