told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
