My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
