I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
