I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
