After last night, I could never be a politician.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
