Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you never un-have a 4some
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
