if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
