remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize