That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
