She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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