its not stalking. its research.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
