I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
