I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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