i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
