I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
