I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
