I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
