How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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