so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
