so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
