i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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