sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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