porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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