there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
