we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Semen is not good for contacts.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
