No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
