i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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