Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
