I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
