I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
