I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
