I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
