Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
