she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
