All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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