That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
