You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
