This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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