She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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