I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
