my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
