I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
