Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
