Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
