You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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