Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
