It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
