Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
