Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
