Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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