we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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