The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
And then he peed in my hair
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