Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
