I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize