somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
