glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize