He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
