To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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